Dave

shakentits @ 2013-08-10T15:07:00

2005-08-10T22:07:50Z

I'm shitting!

Passionate Dads

2005-07-25T21:47:49Z

I just want to make sure everybody knows that "Zoo Keeper" (the DS game) is getting an Xbox 360 port! Amen!

The main Bushman guy from "The Gods must be Crazy"

2005-06-30T20:24:16Z

http://media.xbox360.ign.com/media/748/748506/img_2881143.html

shakentits @ 2013-06-14T13:20:00

2005-06-14T19:19:29Z

Six favorite songs? Muther EFF!

1. Dreams, Dreams (as sung by the gay man)
2. Dreams, Dreams (as sung by the gay children)
3. Dreams, Dreams (as sung by me)
4. Dreams, Dreams (as sung by nobody)
5. Also Dreams, Dreams
6. The whole intro song to Clay Fighter, including the part where the conductor gets pissed.

I'm choosing to tag the following six men, and I don't care whether they've already been tagged or not:

arcticdrac
kylyk
mizfizz
onikos
slimpy
sovietmilkshake

Why I love Sony:

2005-05-25T04:52:00Z

"The PlayStation [3] is not a game machine. We've never once called it a game machine," stated Kutaragi at the beginning of his latest interview.

"The PS3 is the product we have been aiming for since the establishment of SCEI," said Kutaragi. "We haven't been creating our [past] PlayStations for the sake of games. Our belief, and the motivation behind running our company, has been to [explore ways of] applying the power of computers to entertainment and enjoyment. We equipped the original PlayStation with a 3D graphics chip, and we equipped the PS2 with the Emotion engine. The PS3 isn't designed to lean towards games. It's not a computer for children. In the sense that our goal has been [to create] a computer that's meant for entertainment, you could say that the original PlayStation and PlayStation 2 had existed as steps towards the PlayStation 3."

Click this link immediately!

2005-05-21T08:17:59Z

http://ds.ign.com/objects/746/746956.html

This isn't really happening!!

2005-02-13T07:05:05Z

Holy ef!It looks like all that praying has finally paid off! "Salute your Shorts" is coming to DVD!!! I'm not making this up:

Clarissa Explains It All - Nick launches 'Rewind Collection' with 1st Season of Clarissa
Posted by David Lambert
2/09/2005

The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Are You Afraid of the Dark? Salute Your Shorts. You Can't Do That on Television! All of these classic Nickelodeon series from the early days of the cable channel are much wanted on DVD by their fans. But high on the list is the show that made Melissa Joan Hart a star: Clarissa Explains It All. And now Clarissa's first season - all 13 episodes - has been announced for a May 17th release that launches a new line of Nick DVDs: The Rewind Collection.

shakentits @ 2011-10-21T00:45:00

2004-10-21T05:46:16Z

http://www.mtv.com/chooseorlose/

Please go to this site and click the link to see the "Stand and Choose" music video. Just do it. TRUST MEEEE.

shakentits @ 2011-07-28T14:05:00

2004-07-28T19:05:50Z

The final DS design is out! Go look at it!

http://www.gamespot.com/gba/news/news_6103616.html

Dinotopia

2004-05-29T09:08:08Z

I have just completed a demo for a Dino Parts point and click adventure game. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not! Follow the link below to download it. Let me know if it doesn't work.

http://www.geocities.com/dinoparts2001/

Good Heavens!

2004-05-28T08:14:30Z

I was just browsing some online porn stores I think I may have stumbled upon the ultimate porn movie:

Little White Chicks... Big Black Monster Dicks 8
Description:
Watch Huge, Evil, Scary, BIG BLACK Monster Schlongs Violate & Penetrate Pure Innocent & Defenseless LITTLE WHITE Girls!
They're travelling all around the globe...turning cute, innocent white girls into hoes! OH NO!!! Help! Somebody Stop These Soul Bros!!!

Are you a Romeo or a Wario?

2004-04-20T07:02:31Z

http://drdrew.com/Topics/article.asp?id=1326

You will never understand life until you click this link. I'm Serious.

Noid Origins

2004-03-14T07:37:12Z

Love, hate, friendship, deception, religion, butt-hole tumors...

If I keep playing 'Nester's Funky Bowling' on the Virtual Boy, it'll all make sense! But before I log off and lose myself in a VR funky bowling paradise, I have a serious question to ask all of you: Were you circumcised, or not? And if so, where do you think your foreskin is now?

Never shit where you eat

2004-02-14T08:15:19Z

Viking Spirit

2004-02-11T23:11:06Z

Hebrew Hate

2004-02-04T05:12:48Z

I'm taking a writing class right now, and for it I have to write an original 30 page movie script. Tonight I'm gonna float just one idea that I have and I want honest feedback and suggestions, really!

This movie will be called "Dino Parts". It's about al Kaida's super secret weapon, which is a dinosaur that has a nuclear bomb ticking in his belly. They plant a chip in the dinosaur's brain that instructs him to visit the Epcot Center and then detonate, wiping the tourist attraction off the face of the planet.

So they fly a plane out to Florida and drop him out, and he hits his head on the hard Floridian soil and loses all memories of his mission. Now he's just a lost dinosaur in Orlando with nowhere to go, and a deadly bomb in his stomach. I won't tell you how this story ends, but I will tell you that he makes many friends and enemies, loses his virginity, and wins the fight against cancer!

RATED PG-13!!

Mucha Lucha: Mascaritas of the Lost Code

2004-02-02T21:22:30Z

I just realized that I can trick my friends into thinking that I have AIDS, but they find it impossible to believe that I would learn a lick of Spanish!

I have also just realized that if the tits on a girl are big enough, I will completely ignore the fact that she has armpit hair...

Learn the Lingo, Gringo

2004-01-29T03:15:52Z

YO hallazgo el forma de aquel árbol ser fálico , y naturalmente excitante. Ante Procedo a masturbar , Voy a abrigo mi pezones en chocolate y haber un lindo animal lamer ellas. Por favor no contar alguien aquel Tengo cáncer.

'Querque Trauma

2004-01-23T03:22:40Z

Seriously, we burn that damned Zozobra to death every year, and every year he keeps coming back. Next time he comes, in stead of fire, we should use poison.

Welcome to Neo Amerika, Citizen

2004-01-20T06:21:18Z

Since I haven't made an entry for a while now, I'm gonna update everybody on all the drama that's been happening in my life the last few weeks:

The first big change to occur this year came from me selling Rocket: Robot on Wheels so that I could buy Biofreaks, which has since inspired me to drop out of school and move to Neo Amerika.

The second challenge I have faced is remembering not to pee on the toilet seat at work, which is becoming increasingly difficult as I'm starting to enjoy it.

My third and most recent trial of 2004 happened today: when I overate at Hooters and got the worst diarrhea I've ever had, and frankly, I blame God for that.

God bless fat tits

2003-12-25T07:17:58Z

Remember this when you're gathered around the tree opening your dumb presents like selfish little pigs:

Santa comes down the chimney uninvited, while Jesus rings the doorbell, and only when he is invited will he open the door to your heart.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................PSYCHE!!!

God bell fat tits

2003-12-25T07:15:00Z

Remember this when you're gathered around the tree opening your stupid presents, you selfish bastards :

Santa comes down the chimney uninvited, while Jesus rings the doorbell, and only when he is invited will he open the door to your heart.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................PSYCHE!!!

Herpes Happens

2003-12-12T07:45:05Z

You're not going to believe this, but I was exploring an Indian reservation this morning. I was searching for answers. Answers to questions that only Indians know the answer to.

New Mexico is a like a sandy red devil. In my search for Indians, I found myself scaling vertical ground until I reached the very tip-top of the Sandias. There was a man there! No, not a man... an Indian. I sat down next to him, and he touched me with his clammy red hands. It was clear to me that this Indian had the anwers that I was searching for.

But before I had the chance to speak, he told me something that I'm never going to forget. "You've got sores on your privates."

Mad Balls

2003-11-28T05:04:10Z

I would talk about how my Thanksgiving went, but something much better happened last night. I heard a radio commercial for a flashlight... a flashlight that "PAYS FOR ITSELF IN NO TIME". I'm not making that up, I swear to God!

Anyway, I hope everybody had a safe, pro-abortion Thanksgiving!

I HATE YOU DAD!

2003-11-25T05:42:09Z

Sometimes I feel like Martians are putting their cigars out on my nipples. Sometimes I feel like vermin of all sorts are crawling into dickhole and causing me to get an erection... like Rhinoceros Beetles are chewing on my nutsack and deflating my testicles.

All because a queer man shot a load of gay cancer into my ass. Screw you Dad.